A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said, “Automotive, aisle 15.” The man asked, “How did you know I was here to get oil?”
The Greeter replied, “That’s my job.”
Another man walked in and the Greeter said, “Sporting goods, aisle 28.”
The man asked, “How did you know I wanted fishing supplies?”
The Greeter replied, “That’s my job.”
A woman walked in and the Greeter said, “Tampons, aisle 5.”
The woman said, “No, I’m here for hemorrhoid medicine.”
The Greeter said, “Darn, I missed it by an inch!”
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A man was in an airplane, and waiting for the men’s room to be free.
After half an hour, he asked a flight attendent if he could use the lady’s restroom. The women said yes but told him not to touch to the buttons on the wall.
He then went in the cabin. On the wall next to him were for buttons. He couldn’t resist and pressed on the first one. Water started spraying from the toilet, cleaning his ass. He was so amazed by that, that he pushed on the second button. Then it was hot air that came out of the toilet, drying his ass. Astonished by that cool technology, he pressed on the third button. Powder popped out, leaving his buttocks soft and smelling good.
He finally looked at the last button. The letters A.T.R. were inscribed on it. Without even asking himself what it ment, he pressed on it.
The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses. His waist war wrapped in a tissue and there was blood everywhere. He looked at one of the doctors and asked him what happened.
The doctor told him that he pressed on the A.T.R. button. The man asked him what it standed for. The doctor ansewred: “Automatic Tampon Remover.”
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Two little boys go into the grocery store.
One is nine, one is four.
The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out.
The cashier asks “Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?”
The nine year old replies “Nope, not for my mom.”
Without thinking, the cashier responded “Well, they must be for your sister then?”
The nine year old quipped, “Nope, not for my sister either.”
The cashier had now become curious “Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?”
The nine year old says “They’re for my four year old little brother.”
The cashier is surprised “Your four year old little brother?”
The nine year old explains: “Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!”
