A woman was confused when her mother gave her the ultimatum that either her mentally disabled sister could wear white to her wedding or her mother and sister wouldn’t attend.
She turned to the internet for help.
A Reddit user turned to others on the platform in a desperate plea for clarity on whether or not she was wrong for telling her mother that her disabled younger sister couldn’t wear white to her wedding.
Her mother gave her an ultimatum about the event, which she agreed to think about, but said that she still didn’t want her little sister wearing something that resembled a wedding dress to her wedding.
She explained the situation to netizens and was soon flooded with replies, many telling her how they would have handled the situation and others telling her she was right to feel upset by what her mother had said.
What Happened with the Woman’s Sister?
The woman had two sisters, Amy and Abbie, who were 21 and 17. Abbie had a severe mental disability, which the woman admitted had affected her and her family’s lives since she was young.
She explained: “I am getting married in around two months and asked all of my bridesmaids to wear purple.”
Abbie asked the woman if she also had to wear a dress. The woman tried to accommodate Abbie by telling her she did have to wear a dress, but she could choose it herself.
Because the woman was so busy with wedding planning, she asked her mother to take Abbie to buy a dress and gave her $200. However, she never expected her mother and Abbie to choose the dress they did.
After shopping, the woman’s mother sent her a photo of Abbie in a wedding dress. The woman replied, asking what it was, and her mother told her it was the dress Abbie would be wearing to her wedding.
The woman asked her mother if it was a joke and where she got the money for a wedding dress because the woman had only given her $200. Her mother replied that it was not a joke and that she had paid for Abbie’s dress. The woman lamented:
“I told my mom I didn’t want anyone but me wearing white to the wedding and that we could pick the same dress for her out but in purple, but that it wasn’t okay that she thought that Abbie could wear white to my wedding.”
Although the woman stood her ground with her mother and tried to ensure that her sister would not arrive in a wedding dress, her mother took a more assertive stance, which shocked the woman.
What Did the Woman’s Mother Say?
The woman’s mother became extremely upset when she heard Abbie couldn’t wear the wedding dress. Her mother told the soon-to-be bride that she had told Abbie to wear what she liked, and Abbie had chosen the white dress.
The woman told her mother she wouldn’t allow her other sister to wear white and didn’t think Abbie should be different. The woman’s mother said she was being selfish for not allowing Abbie to wear something that made her comfortable and that she should get “certain rights” because she was mentally disabled.
After hearing this, she told her mother that Abbie should not be treated differently in these situations and that she could not, under any circumstances, wear white to the wedding.
When the woman gave her an ultimatum, her mother fired back with one, saying that either Abbie wore the dress of her choosing or they both would not attend the wedding. The woman admitted:
“I was shocked that she would go this far because of a dress, so I told her I would think about it.”
Although she told her mother she would think about it, the soon-to-be bride still didn’t want her little sister wearing a wedding dress to her wedding and turned to netizens to find out if she was wrong for feeling that way.
She soon found that most people were on her side, telling her that her mother was being unreasonable and that she should try talking to her sister directly. Others said the woman should tell her mother and sister she was sorry they would miss the wedding and leave it at that.
