I became a neurologist because my work gave me purpose.
I’d been a troubled teen, so dedicating my life to something greater than myself seemed like a redemption arc. And I found fulfillment in helping patients. But it wasn’t just about the work; it was about the life I built around it — a life with James. We’ve been married for four years. He worked in marketing and made significantly less money than me, but it never mattered. James and I had always agreed on one thing — children were not a priority. I preferred adoption if we were going down that road. Biological children? I was ambivalent at best. But then, his best friend had a baby boy, and everything changed. James started talking about having a kid of our own. I wasn’t convinced, but then, life decided for us when, soon after, I found out I was pregnant. “So, what do we do?” I had asked, looking at James. “Let’s keep it. We’ll make it work,” he said, squeezing my hand. We agreed he would quit his job to stay home with our daughter, Lily, until she was old enough for preschool. My work was my life, and I had no desire to become a housewife. Lily was born, and soon, my maternity leave was up. I had a medical conference out of state and left James alone with Lily for the weekend. He assured me he’d handle it.”Call me if you need anything,” I told him before leaving. “Don’t worry, Rachel. We’ll be fine,” he smiled, holding Lily.***When I returned, something was off. James was withdrawn, not his usual upbeat self. “Hey, how was the conference?” he asked, but his eyes didn’t meet mine. “Good. What’s going on here? You seem… different.” He shrugged, focusing on Lily in his arms. “Nothing. Just tired, I guess.” “Tired?” I probed. “James, what’s wrong?” He looked at me then, eyes filled with something I couldn’t place. “I… I don’t know if I can do this.” “Do what?” I asked, though I already feared the answer. “This. Stay home with Lily. I feel trapped, Rachel. Overwhelmed.” His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “You said you could handle it. You agreed to this!” “I know, but it’s harder than I thought. I’m not cut out for this.” “So, what are you suggesting? That I give up my career? Extend my maternity leave?” “Maybe we could consider daycare,” he said softly. “Daycare? We agreed!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “I made sacrifices, James. My career —” “And what about my sacrifices? I quit my job for this. I’m asking for help, Rachel.” “Help? This isn’t what we planned. We had an agreement!” My voice rose, frustration boiling over. At that moment, Lily started crying, and James looked like he might break.