The Cruise Ship Bar Joke

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. The bartender obliges and hands her the drink,

but little does he know that this simple order is the beginning of a chain of events that will have everyone in stitches.

As the bartender gives her the drink, she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it’s today.”

The bartender, being the kind soul he is, responds, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.”

As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right, clearly caught up in the festive spirit, says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too.”

The old woman graciously accepts and says to the bartender, “Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.”

“Coming right up,” says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left chimes in, “I would like to buy you one, too.”

Again, the old woman responds with gratitude, “Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.”

“Coming up,” the bartender says with a smile.

Now, as he gives her the drink, he can’t help but ask, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity, why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”

The old woman, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye, replies, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor.

Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”