A blonde phoned the police to report that thieves had been in her car.
“They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
…
..
.
“Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake.”
=======================
Three husbands were sitting at a bar, each nursing a drink and lamenting the mysteries of married life.
Husband 1 sighs and says, “My wife is a genius. She remembers everything I ever said… especially the things I forgot to do.”
Husband 2 nods. “Mine too. Last week, she said I didn’t listen to her. Or maybe that’s what she said. I wasn’t really paying attention.”
Husband 3 chuckles. “Gentlemen, you have it easy. My wife is so persuasive, she once convinced me that I was wrong about something I hadn’t even said yet.”
They all laugh and raise their glasses, when an old man at the end of the bar, with a long white beard and a twinkle in his eye, leans over and says, “You lads still have much to learn. I’ve been married 50 years. You want to know the secret?”
They nod eagerly.
The old man continues, “Every fight I ever had with my wife, I lost. Every one. But… I figured out how to win.”
The three men lean in closer.
“I simply learned two magical words,” he says, holding up two fingers. “‘Yes, dear.’ That’s it. That phrase has saved me from sleeping on the couch more times than I can count.”
Husband 1 asks, “But doesn’t that mean you just give up?”
The old man laughs. “No, no. You don’t give up. You just surrender… strategically. Like a ninja.”
He goes on:
“Let me tell you what happened last week. My wife asked, ‘Do you think I’m overreacting?’”
He pauses and looks at them seriously.
“Now, I may be old, but I’m not stupid. That question is a trap wrapped in a riddle inside a landmine.”
“So I smiled, nodded, and said, ‘Yes, dear.’”
Husband 2 frowns. “And that worked?”
“Well,” the old man says, “not exactly. I’m still recovering from the saucepan incident… but I consider it a partial victory. At least I now know what not to say. Again.”
The three husbands laugh, and the old man raises his glass.
“To wives! The only people who can multitask, win arguments in their sleep, and somehow always be right… even when they aren’t.”
The others clink their glasses.
And for once, they all agreed… quietly, and well within earshot of no one important.
