When my mother-in-law, Melissa, came over to help with my colicky baby while my husband was away, I hoped for a much-needed break. Instead, those few hours left me questioning her intentions, my instincts as a mother, and even my marriage.
Three months into motherhood, I was exhausted. Emily’s colic left me running on two-hour sleep intervals, my hair unbrushed, and my shirt perpetually decorated with spit-up stains. I didn’t feel like a mom; I felt like a failure pretending to be one.
Peter, my husband, called earlier that day with his usual optimism.
“How are my girls?” he asked cheerfully.
“We’re surviving,” I replied, bouncing Emily on my shoulder. “You’re lucky you’re on the road and not dealing with this little tyrant.”
He chuckled. “You’re doing great, babe. You just need a break. Mom said she could come over tomorrow. Let her help, okay?”
Melissa and I didn’t have a bad relationship, but she had a knack for making me feel inadequate. Still, the promise of an uninterrupted nap was too tempting to refuse.
“Fine,” I relented. “But not for too long.”
“Thanks, babe. She’ll even bring dinner. One less thing to worry about,” he said, always the problem-solver.
The next day, Melissa arrived promptly at noon, casserole dish in hand. She breezed through the door, her energy contrasting starkly with my sleep-deprived state.
“Oh, Alicia,” she said, scrutinizing me. “You look pale. Are you eating enough? You can’t pour from an empty cup, you know.”
I forced a smile. “I’m trying. It’s just been a lot.”
She took Emily from my arms with a practiced ease that made me feel both relieved and judged. “Go lie down. You look like you could fall over any second.”
As I turned toward the bedroom, I heard her mutter, “Babies today are so coddled. I never worried this much with my kids.” I brushed it off. A nap was more important than her unsolicited commentary.
I jolted awake to Emily’s piercing cries. Disoriented, I reached for my phone to check the time, only to find it missing. The baby monitor’s screen was black. Panic set in as I bolted to the nursery, where Emily lay in her crib, red-faced and wailing. She hadn’t been changed, and her cries made my heart ache.
After soothing her, I searched the house for Melissa. The kitchen and living room were empty. Then I saw her through the kitchen window, outside, laughing with my phone pressed to her ear. My blood boiled.
I placed Emily back in her crib and stormed outside. “Melissa!”
She jumped, nearly dropping the phone. “Oh, Alicia, you’re awake.”
“Why was Emily crying while you were out here? And why do you have my phone?”
She sighed dramatically. “I was talking to Peter. He called your phone, and I didn’t want to wake you, so I came outside.”
“You unplugged the baby monitor too, didn’t you?” I snapped.
Melissa nodded nonchalantly. “You needed rest, and I thought it might disturb you. She wasn’t crying when I stepped out.”
“How long have you been on the phone?”
She glanced at the screen. “Thirty-seven minutes.”
Thirty-seven minutes. My jaw dropped.
“You left her alone for over thirty minutes? She was crying when I picked her up!”
“She wasn’t crying the whole time,” Melissa retorted, now defensive. “And crying doesn’t hurt babies. Honestly, Alicia, you’re overreacting.”
“Overreacting? You were supposed to help me, not ignore my daughter and take my phone!”
Melissa folded her arms. “You should be grateful I’m here at all. I was trying to let you rest.”
“Grateful?” I shot back. “You unplugged the monitor and left my baby unattended for nearly forty minutes. Melissa, you need to leave. Now.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“You heard me. Go. I don’t trust you to look after Emily.”
Melissa muttered under her breath as she grabbed her purse and stormed out. Back inside, I picked up Emily, holding her close as her tiny breaths calmed me. Yet my mind raced. Had I overreacted? Melissa was Peter’s mother, after all. But every time I replayed Emily’s cries in my head, I felt justified.
When Peter came home the next evening, I braced for the conversation.
“How are my girls?” he asked, smiling as he scooped Emily into his arms.
“We’re okay,” I said, my voice tinged with tension. “Peter, we need to talk about your mom.”
I explained everything—Melissa unplugging the monitor, taking my phone, and leaving Emily alone for over thirty minutes.
“She told me she answered your phone because you were asleep,” he said.
“She didn’t just answer it, Peter. She took it outside and ignored Emily.”
He sighed. “She didn’t mean any harm, Alicia. She was just trying to help you rest.”
“By unplugging the monitor and leaving our baby alone?” I shot back.
“You didn’t have to kick her out,” he argued.
“Are you serious? You’re defending her after what she did?”
“She came to help, Alicia. She didn’t have to. And now she feels like she’s not welcome here anymore.”
I stared at him, speechless. He was more concerned about his mother’s feelings than our daughter’s well-being.
“Fine,” I said quietly, turning away.
That night, as I rocked Emily to sleep, doubt crept in. Maybe I could’ve handled things differently. Maybe I shouldn’t have told Melissa to leave. But the memory of Emily’s cries and Melissa’s laughter hardened my resolve.
I didn’t know if I had done the right thing or burned a bridge I’d one day regret. All I knew was this: my daughter deserved better. And I wouldn’t apologize for standing up for her.