A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.

A woman passing by remarks,“If you were any sort of a gentleman,

you would lift your hat to a lady.”

He replies, “If you were any sort of a hot lady,

the hat would lift by itself.”

There once was a blind old man who decided to visit Texas.

When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,

“Wow, these seats are big!”

“Everything is big in Texas.”, the person next to him answered.

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.

Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands.

He exclaimed, “Wow these mugs are big!”

“Everything is big in Texas.”, the bartender replied.

After a couple of beers, the blind old man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.

The bartender replied,

“Second door to the right.”

The old man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over a bucket and skipped the second door.

Instead, he entered the third door, which leads to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to d*ath, the blind old man started shouting…

“Don’t flush, don’t flush!”