My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things.

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.
She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?”

A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”

A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on.
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and pushing the boots, she just didn’t want to go on. By the time she’d got the second boot on, she’d worked up a sweat.

That’s when the little boy said, ‘Mrs. Smith, they’re on the wrong feet.’

She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn’t any easier getting them back off and re-put upon the correct feet. That’s when the little boy said, ‘These aren’t my boots. They’re my brother’s. My mom made me wear them.’

She bit her tongue and managed to keep her cool. But she mustered up the courage one more time to wrestle those boots on his feet again. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘Where are your mittens?’

‘I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.’

A science teacher asked her students
“Children, if you could own one material, what would it be?”

One girl said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”

One boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”

The teacher said, “Little Johnny, What would you want?”

Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”

“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher

“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”

Related Posts

“Ryan… you weren’t supposed to be here.”—A sergeant returns after 9 months and finds his sister hiding bruises in the house where they grew up

When Sergeant Ryan Maddox stepped out of the carpool onto the curb, he expected the porch light to be the same warm yellow he remembered: steady, welcoming,…

“Stop asking questions—take the baby and leave tonight.”—A pregnant wife discovers her CEO husband is a washing machine.

Part 1 “I’m seven months pregnant and you tell me my husband has a different set of accounts?” Nina Caldwell gripped the edge of the kitchen counter…

“Excuse me, ma’am, this is a medical center.” — A pregnant doctor was assaulted at a clinic, and a video that went viral online has once again put her billionaire father in the spotlight.

“Ma’am, please, this is a medical center.” Dr. Nora Whitfield heard the nurse’s warning as if it were coming from underwater. Seven months pregnant, she stood in…

“She’s on fire—help her!” The fire at a Manhattan gala that uncovered a husband’s $5 million scheme against his pregnant wife

Claire Donovan Larkin used to think of Manhattan charity galas as harmless theater: silk dresses, crystal chandeliers, and wealthy strangers applauding each other for being “generous.” At…

“We are grateful to receive Margot Whitfield’s daughter.” The moment the room fell silent… and her husband realized he had mocked power

“Did you wear that?” Claire Halston heard her husband murmur as she stepped onto the red carpet in front of the Whitfield Children’s Benefit. His fingers weren’t…

“Stop exaggerating—it’s just a scratch.” He smashed her against the refrigerator and broke her nose, but the camera’s red light recorded everything.

“Stop being so dramatic,” my mother-in-law mocked, snatching the phone from my trembling hand. “It’s just a scratch.” My name is Natalie Brooks, and the night I…